A dive bar is a place that should have cheap beer, yes, but also decent service and some sense of being permanently etched into the landscape. If it’s baffling or intimidating to newcomers, all the better. If you walk into a bar, sit down with your beer and are suddenly being lectured on the terrible decision the Rangers made to trade for goddamn Phil Esposito 40 years ago, you know you’re in the right place. Or at least I know I am. A dive bar, more than any other kind of bar, is a place that acts as a bulwark against a world that is more often completely shitty than anything else.
So I want to talk for a second about what happened last night at the Vol 1. Brooklyn reading at CultureFix, and the fight that ensued, an act shocking at the very least because we are all such sedentary creatures, we book people.
So CultureFix, a bar/gallery space I have never been to before and…
Economic recovery is based on how many things we buy, big things too, like DVD box sets and cars and houses and second cars. And here we sit, us generation Y or millennials or whatever, shaking our heads and asking “who the hell cares?” We are, as The Atlantic dubs us in this September article posted today, The Cheapest Generation, those of us wandering through urban areas, whose Zip Car spacephone apps are more important than owning a car, those of us for whom the dream of home ownership seems about as attractive as owning a diabetic elephant, who have, essentially, given up on the idea of “stuff.” And, according to The Atlantic, that means our country’s economy is boned. But that also means our generation is going to be just fine in the long run, and that should be OK with you.
Coloring is infinitely more fun when you’re older and know how to make things look pretty. So of course it’s even better when you get to have adult humor thrown in. Coloring for Grown-Ups fills this void you didn’t know existed with a mixture of self-contained jokes and prompts for audience participation. They’re happy to post reader submissions of colored-in pictures, too, and these are probably way cooler to hang up on your refrigerator (“I love you mom” inscription not included)
Fun and educational
It’s a spaceship, right? I’m right, aren’t I?
One of many Season 5 Mad Men moments you can color in.
1 lemon: $0.33 (use to taste at the end! I used 3/4 a lemon, peeled)
a small piece of ginger: $0.30
5 loose carrots: $1.37
3 large Rome apples: $3.26
Have you made juice? I worked at this juice bar (not a strip club, no) with a giant industrial juicer and multiple blenders, but this was my first time doing it at home. It had almost as intense of a prep/cleanup as the dreaded/delicious eggplant parm I like making. Just less, you know, hot oil and oven stuff.
This $7.26 fruit/veggie haul made me about 32oz of juice. Considering the fact that this produce isn’t organic, and most organic juice places charge $6-9 for 16-24oz juice, my results aren’t that impressive. Regardless of the definitive “buy” as my conclusion (again), this was a really fun day-off morning activity that I’d highly recommend and plan to do again. Also, there is no where to buy fresh juice in my neighborhood so I’m working with what I got. And what I got is FOOD BAZAAR.
Note: In a larger, more time-consuming batch, I’m sure this would have more cost-effective results.
Also note: CARROT APPLE GINGER BEET IS THE ACTUAL BEST.
This is a Craigslist Missed Connection our friend wrote about a real thing that happened at Union hall last Saturday night, in which some of Team Brokelyn was involved. Our friend informs us it was written at 5am in a drunken tirade, but some of the phrasing is oh-so-delicious. NSFW!
Here is just a taste:
To the raging Thunder C*&%t at Union Hall last night. - w4w (Pound Town)
I’m posting this because I believe my fist missed a connection with your face. Last night you decided to pour your entire beer down my leg and all over my bag at Union Hall in Park Slope. Your excuse, when I looked at you incredulously during a lulling rendition of “I’ll make love to you” by 2 white and adorably tone def beefcakes was, “I’m so drunk, shit happens.” LOVELY. Then, in my most darling voice, I called you a gigantic asshole. To which you replied with “You have no right to call me that you BITCH.” …Really? I think I might. Because not only did you get in my face and tell me we should “take this outside,” but your Boyfriend (which I can only imagine had an anal birth because he is this much of an asshole) decided it was a great idea to throw a drink in my face while my dear friend tried to get YOU away from me. Your boyfriend then proceeded to “fight” all of my guy friends who were trying to subdue him. I say “fight” because his tactics were the equivalent of someone turning on a wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man. I can only imagine what he’s like in bed, and for that, I am truly sorry.
Read the rest, because the last line is my favorite. Really, Union Hall? Really?!?
At Brokelyn, we work hard to bring you the best possible content related to your grumbling stomach and search for a good time. Of course, hard work can be fun if you do what you love, and since we all love drinking, our recent AmeriCan debate was the most fun any of us had doing journalism since Tim toured that slaughterhouse. The pictures, taken by our own Rachel DeLetto, accompanying the story don’t tell the whole story, so here are a few more.
Just a couple bros, hanging out on a Brooklyn rooftop with a gorgeous sunset behind them. This is maybe the most zeitgeist-y photo I’ve ever been a part of.
Conal, gazing onto the horizon, the absolute personification of manifest destiny. They had AmeriCans in the 1840s, right?
I, on the other hand, had a little bit of trouble with the AmeriChair and ended up spilling beer all over myself. As you can see, it was very troubling to me.
"Some purists will tell you the American flag doesn’t contain the word Budweiser.’ But you know, if they run this up the flagpole, I’ll salute." -Conal Darcy.
"Look angry at each other," was the direction we got for this picture. The best I could conjure up was being annoyed that I actually had to hold the can in such a way that prevented me from drinking from it. I think Conal was just upset because he knew he was going to get slaughtered in the debate.
Ok, so, even if your workplace is around the corner, or just around your bed (like Tim’s), you should still take some time today to celebrate this joyous weather and give a giant middle finger to winter (and evil cars/trucks). Tis the season to bike to work, free shows/movies, and all other things. Get on it!
Also, what do y’all think of the new bike street parking popping up around Brooklyn?
“I hope you find solidarity knowing you are like so many others. You’re a special kind of person, the kind who decided to choose what their destiny would be, not have it laid out for them. Their New York might be in Los Angeles. Or Nashville. Or a sustainable farm in South America. That isn’t the point. The point is you didn’t commit to change because this city would make you the woman you wanted to be. You knew the woman you were. You know the woman you demanded yourself to become, and she belonged in New York.”—Robert Wohner, You Should Stay In New York City